To the broken Mama walking down the dark street: I see you. I really do. I see who you were, who you are, and who you’ll become. I see how hard you work and how you feel like no one notices. I see how your new baby cries all the time and you’re the only one who can do anything. I see how tired you are but how you try to keep on giving. I see how much you give and how there’s nothing left for you. I see you move in silence because those few seconds of silence might be all you get today. I see you feeling guilty because you know you left home before you completely broke but all you can think about is those 2 little souls and how Daddy might be coping. I see you try to take on too much because you feel bad asking for help; you already know how much everyone else has on their plate. I see you crying so hard you can’t cry any more so all your body is doing is heaving silently. I see your mind racing because of all the things you know you need to do as soon as this moment in the rain ends. I see how the rain doesn’t bother you but is refreshing because it feels like it’s washing the hurt away. I see you battle inside when someone tells you you’re not doing good enough. I see your desperation because know you’re trying your best and that’s all you’ve got to offer and it doesnt feel like it’s enough. But it is. I see you hiding your face when you cross in front of cars because you’re trying to hide your tears. I see that you’re embarrassed because you’re you and you should be able to handle this. I see that you feel like you’ve been unfair to people you love because you don’t have the time or energy to sit and explain things to them. I see how lonely you feel because you have no one to talk to. I see your heartbreak because your children’s cry is ringing in your ears even though by now, you’ve walked a long ways from home. I see you turn around because it’s time to stop being “selfish” and get back to what you left behind. I see how you feel like you’ve betrayed your kids because you left without saying goodnight, but you had to, and you know they wouldn’t understand. I see that you deserve more than just a few moments alone but this is the first time in months you’ve been out by yourself. I see that people tell you “this is what you signed up for” even though it’s far from true. I see you taking in those last few minutes alone and then take a deep breath as you walk backup the stairs to go home. I see you disappear into the rest of your life beyond the dark night and I hope that you know that my heart goes out to you. That I’m praying for you; that you’ll have strength for tomorrow. I see you. ~love, a Mama who knows.
Some of you, who read this far, are this mom or know this mom. Just know there’s lots of love to go around, and if you need a shoulder, feel free to use mine.
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